I'm home

Long time since I posted, just thought I'd give an update.

First and foremost, I'm home. Long trip, much drama, but the bottom line is, I'm home.

Second, I am (finally) leaving the unit I've been in since 2004. Kinda conflicted... wait, no, not really. It's time to go. Not that the unit hasn't been good to me- I've learned a lot and had some pretty neat opportunities. But it's time to go. (I'm only going up the road right now. It's a conscious choice so I don't have to immediately try to sell my house).

Speaking of leaving... the Army has a tradition called the "Hail and Farewell." It's a party that is designed to welcome (hail) the new officers and senior noncoms and farewell the outgoing ones. Now that you know the concept, let me say this clearly so you'll all understand.

Most.
Awkward.
Party.
Ever.

Imagine, if you will, a unit that has been together for 24 months. Fifteen of those deployed. Throw in a bit of resentment from one half of the unit towards the other, as the battalion was split in two and one half was in a decidedly better place than the other. Add in some disgruntlement over evaluations/awards, etc. Sprinkle on there the fact that, when we came home, we only got ONE DAY OFF before having to come back to work. Throw in a bunch of spouses who are forced to spend one of their first, awkward days with their Soldier partying with people they neither know nor like very well.

Shaping up really well, huh?

Now add copious amounts of alcohol, shake it up, and then give people a microphone and an open forum.

Wow.

In case you're wondering, what you get is basically lots of people hiding how they really feel in efforts to be politic, with one or two throwing truth bombs in there because they have nothing to lose. Also, elements of the command group trying to publicly humiliate people and making mean-spirited jokes. And then you get a bunch of awkward silences, punctuated by frantic guzzling of drinks.

No lie. Kind of horrifying, really.

What's really horrifying is that the powers that be are going to call that party a success, and an example of team-building and esprit-de-corps (that's French for "corpse spit").

Now, as horrible as mandatory social functions can be, they can also be done really well. I have personally been to several really good Hails and Farewells (ones that the wife didn't hate), where the event was well planned, the MCs had personality and charm, everyone was a good sport, and the alcohol just made everyone silly. Also, it's awesome to watch my friends humilitate themselves and then not remember it the next day. I love bringing back those memories, particularly in front of large groups of people.

Oh well. As I see it, that's one more hurdle behind me on my way to my next assignment. Hopefully I will update at least one more time between now and then. Here's what's on the agenda:

Block Leave. Disneyland. Family. Birthday. Road Trip(s).

Good times, good times.

A New Feature

This marks what will be the beginning of a new, randomly updated feature on this blog:

Staff Officer Stick Figure Theatre!! (you have to imagine the echo sound effect).

I know that not all staff experiences are like this, but I've received enough feedback already to know that this little comic has struck a nerve among some people.

Without further ado:

(I'm not saying that I did this during a meeting or anything... but it took about 20 minutes that would otherwise have been wasted).

I think Army got it right this time...

A couple of days ago, we were all forced to watch a multi-media, choose-your-own-adventure production made by the Army called "Beyond the Front." It details the (mis)adventures of either a Soldier or his NCO, and you make choices based on how you feel and what you want the person to do. At the end, either they kill themselves, or they don't, and we all learn a valuable lesson. It's a Very Special Afternoon of Training.

This video and associated mandatory training are part of the Army's response to record-high suicide rates. 2008 saw at least 128 Soldiers take their own lives, with more possible as investigations conclude. This is the highest rate of suicide since the Army began keeping records in 1980.

What surprises me is not the Army's predictable response (the pattern is usually Action --> reaction by Dept of the Army (DA) --> Overreaction by subordinate commands --> mandatory training in which we are yelled at for thinking about whatever the "action" was) but rather the fact that the training and video were... good.

Actually good.

And here's the litmus test for that: when, among the jokes and derision, you can hear more than one person say "No, man, I remember this one kid in my unit..."

Yeah, it was corny in the way that only choose-your-own-adventure stories are. But it actually used relevant scenarios with halfway decent performances, contemporary language (by which I mean the actor cursed when in a firefight or when his fiancee left him), and presented decisions that any of us would make under the circumstances. It was good enough that Soldiers participated and only one problem child fell asleep, and the tools that the video presented to deal with stressful/painful situations were appropriate to Soldiers and the culture of the Army. There was no "make a relaxing collage;" rather, they talked about talking to the Chaplain or the chain of command. All in all, not bad.

All of this dovetails with some other thoughts I've been having lately, regarding stress and stress management. Maybe you follow La Yen's blog where she has been talking about her "issues" (and by "issues" I mean "Shaking like Don Knotts"). Well, that's a stressor to me. There are other things- having to move out of comfy billets and into dusty tents, dealing with the sheer exhaustion of having been here more than a year, the stress of having to train someone else to do your job before you leave... All these things serve to make life difficult. And I've been wondering what tools we have available to deal with that. So here are my thoughts.

- Spirituality. This is a non-denominational post here. Whatever your religious persuasion is, whether you're Catholic, Lutheran, Mormon (word!), Baptist, Wiccan, Zoroastrian, Olmec Sun-Worshipper, or part of the Dalek Cult of Skaro, your faith can be a great comfort to you. So one of the tools I recommend, as I have been using it lately, is to do what you can to draw closer to the Higher Power of your choice. It helps.

(A note here about Army Chaplains. I gotta say, I'm not a big fan. I have had some bad experiences with chaplains before - one told me I was going to Hell for being Mormon. No lie. I've had good chaplains too, don't get me wrong. But I always feel like they're overwhelmed and don't have the time to devote to helping ME out. And that whatever time I spend with a chaplain is time that he/she should be spending with Soldiers instead. So see a chaplain if you need to- I won't be in line with you, so you can take my spot).

- Your peers. Everyone needs someone to whine at. Professionally speaking, it's terribly bad form to whine at your Soldiers. After all, they're doing the same things you're doing, because you told them to. So if you whine about your mission, then the Soldiers inevitably start wondering why they're doing what they're doing, and it's a downward spiral from there. But you should have some peers somewhere, who are a little bit removed from your exact circumstance and to whom you can moan and complain and get things off your chest. It's a good catharsis, which I recommend.

- Friends and family with military experience. Face it, there are a lot of things we're asked to do in the military that don't make a lick of sense. When we complain about those things to our civilian support system, we (or at least I) often get a lot of confused looks. So it helps to have someone you can complain to who has at least experienced your angst before, and knows whereof you speak. Now, this can sometimes bite you in the butt, because you have to consider why the ex-military people in your life left the service. You might not get a lot of sympathy from someone who left because of the stupidity inherent in the system (help! I'm being repressed)- they might just tell you to leave or stop complaining. So you have to be careful.

- Supervisors. This is a tricky one. Obviously, it's not politic to complain to your boss about your boss. But you can (carefully) complain about circumstances or poor decisions that affect both of you. It's always hard, though, because you have to temper your complaints. You don't want to be perceived as a whiner, and you don't want to be seen as an incompetent who needs help to solve problems. On the plus side, these guys have a lot of experience (usually) so they may have experienced the problems that you're going through and might be able to help you.

- Trusted subordinates. This is a tricky one too, since as we've already established, it's unprofessional to whine to your Soldiers. But if you and a subordinate work well and often together, you often develop a closeness that provides a certain amount of latitude in the professional relationship. Sometimes you have to be careful with this one, too, because your subordinates have peers who they complain to, and your business might be on the agenda. It's a calculated risk.

These are all things I've tried in attempts to clear my mind or sound things out. I generally use other outlets, like talking to my family or writing (duh), but if I absolutely have to vent, I use one of these. They help me deal with the stresses that I have accumulated over the past 14 months, and keep me from either killing someone or locking myself in my wall locker.

Or you could take my Tio Manny's approach: "My advice to you? Drink heavily."

UPDATE!!!

So after talking to SPC Film School about this, he mentioned that he liked what I was saying, but the whole thing kind of fell apart at the end. Then he started talking about what he wanted, and I was stricken with a couple of other thoughts. So here goes.

As leaders, we are responsible for the morale of our subordinates. Telling someone to "get over it" or "suck it up," although sometimes valid and useful, is not always the answer. We as leaders need to PROVIDE outlets (like those above) for our Soldiers to use. They are the ones who are making the mission happen- they're the ones we owe our successes to, so we owe them an opportunity to vent.

More than that, though, Soldiers want to see involved leadership. They want to be asked "what's wrong" or "are you ok?" They also [gasp] might benefit from knowing that their leaderhsip is having troubles, or is suffering through the same suckfest they are, but haven't quit and are continuing on with the mission. That's inspirational. That's motivating.

Let's face it, sometimes, things just suck, for everyone. It's how we as leaders react to that determines the morale of the unit. And you know what? Helping a subordinate talk over their issues, even if I don't discuss what's bothering me at all, helps me. There is peace in service, and in knowing that you've helped someone out, even for five minutes. So be involved, be sympathetic, be caring, but above all, be there for your troops.

That's all I've got. Thanks.

Checklist Leaders

Look, this is a rant, so be warned.

Also, this is non-attributional. If I work with you, don't think I'm pointing fingers. But if the shoe fits, then choke on it and die, because you're a horrible human.

OK. Checklist Leaders.

Thanks to my buddy Cap'n Sam for that one. It's a great phrase, referring to the guy who once read a book on leadership and made a checklist on "what leaders do" which he will break out once in a while as justification and self-gratification.

Item one: Greet Soldier. Hmm, ok. "Hello, [Soldier]. "
Item two: Ask ref: family. "How is your [Wife/Husband/Father/Mother]?"
Item three: Pick a franchise of a popular sport, and make that "your" team. Pick one per season. Ask Soldier about his/her team. "How about that [local sports franchise]?"

And that, these people think, makes folks a good leader. They've gone down the checklist, met the objectives, and then go home at night, regardless of their crappy decisions or utter selfishness, and can say, "I'm a good leader. Look at this checklist!"

To which I say, bull. BULL. Because yeah, good leaders are interested in their subordinates. But good leaders also make realistic plans, good leaders give credit publicly and blame privately, and good leaders are in it for more than themselves.

--REDACTED IN DEFENSE OF MY CAREER--

I'm not an idiot. I know that commanders ultimately will take credit for their unit's successes. Good commanders, however, subscribe to a philosophy that goes, "When it's bad it's me, when it's good it's us, and when it's really good it's you." And then they will also take blame for their unit's failures, because they realize that they are ultimately responsible for everything that happens or fails to happen in their unit.

But going by the checklist, I'm sure there are a lot of good commanders out there . He commanded a unit, check, where he gave some awards and promotions, check, and talked to Soldiers. Check.

BS. Check.

What happened to "Soldiers First?" What happened to earning loyalty instead of demanding it based on rank?

In an address to the US Corps of Cadets in 1879, MG John Schofield said, "He who feels the respect which is due to others cannot fail to inspire in them regard for himself, while he who feels, and hence manifests, disrespect toward others, especially his inferiors, cannot fail to inspire hatred against himself."

In other words, treat people how you expect to be treated. If you're a princess who demands respect based on position and doesn't earn it based on any kind of ability, don't be surprised when (1) your Soldiers don't respect you, and (2) you foster a command climate wherin your subordinate leaders act the same way as you, don't respect you, and don't have the respect of their own subordinates.

Then you raise selfish leaders, checklist leaders who can take their checklists and fool the Army educational system into thinking they're worthwhile because they can show all the blocks they've checked. It's a vicious circle.

The only way to fight it is, first, don't be a checklist leader. If you're the type of person who can't fathom actually learning something about your subordinates and being sincere, then do me and your Soldiers a favor and GET THE HELL OUT OF THE ARMY. Thank you for your service, but we don't need you.

And if you see that kind of crap going on around you, for heaven's sake, speak up. Force your junior leaders to be engaged-- empower them to make decisions and hold them accountable.

And seriously, if you can't, maybe the military is not for you. Maybe you should go be a budget analyst or a systems engineer or whatever else you want to be, as long as it doesn't involve leading and training Soldiers. GET OUT. Soldiers deserve better than you.

The greatest story ever told

Happy New Year and stuff.

Getting ready to get the hell up out of here in something like three months, and I am extremely happy about the fact.

But not as happy as I am about the following headline:

Little Blue Pills Among The Ways CIA Wins Friends in Afghanistan

(see the story here)

Seems that the CIA is distributing Viagra to aged Afghan tribal chiefs in an attempt to, um... raise support for US efforts in the area.

Seems it's hard to operate when people don't trust you.

I'm done now.

But seriously. Awesome.

Humbug

Santa has run into some trouble.....

So the Army is issuing us a new solution. Enter SANTRON.

We demand gifts.

Humbug.

The weirdest thing so far...

OK, this is possibly the most surreal moment I have had in my 11 years in this man's Army.

I was en route to a meeting today with the Local National Air Force so we could do some planning for a major exercise we are going to do together (which I wish I could tell you about, because it's pretty cool. But you'll have to trust me). And it's me, my boss (a Major) and another American Captain in the car with a Local National First Lieutenant on the way from the Local National base to the Local National Air Force HQ. And my boss asks, "What kind of music do you have on your iPod, Lieutenant?"

And this leads to all four of us, three Americans and a Local National, riding in the Local National's SUV.

Singing Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler."

Loudly.

Badly.

With backup vocals.

?

Happy Veteran's Day

[blush]

This is me, having forgotten all about Veteran's Day. This despite the big signs in the DFAC (dining facility) and the Veteran's Day cake, and my wife wishing me a happy Veteran's Day.

I am pathetic.

Support our Troops.

OK, the election is over. Now I can blog again.

I have been deliberately avoiding this blog (as opposed to my other blog, which I have been avoiding because I'm frankly lazy) because of the pre-election frenzy. And let me tell you how I feel about that:

"F" That.

If you are passionate about an issue because you've researched it and feel that your stance, your educated opinion is right, more power to you. If, however (and I think this is the case with the majority of the fwd emails I receive or nonsense I hear) you are passing on what basically amounts to hot, soupy garbage because someone you know got it from someone they know and it's all about how so and so is a terrorist because of what his parents named him or so and so is racist because he happened to be born white, then do us all a favor and SHUT UP. Because, either way (and this is important, so pay attention),

I.

Don't.

Care.

I am not interested in your nonsense. I will pay attention to well-thought-out arguments that are not sensationalist. I will not, however, listen to or entertain anything that I will find on snopes.com. Or on Fox News.

But that's beside the point, because now we're done. Do you hear me? DONE. Whether you won or lost, Obama is the President-elect. Whether you voted or not (and I did, by the way), it's OVER.

If you supported McCain, you get 48 hours to piss and moan. For 48 hours, I will read your emails or have the conversations with you. After that, I will get back to supporting and defending the Constitution of the United States, and supporting my Commander in Chief.

If you supported Obama, you get 48 hours to celebrate. I will also read your emails and have the conversations with you, too. And after that, I am going to get back to work (see above). And when he gets sworn in, I will continue.

Now that the dust has settled, I really hope that all the people out there on the interwebs who were so excited about forwarding messages for one side or the other will take all that energy and use it for something substantial. If you feel strongly enough about an issue to espouse someone else's poorly researched opinion on it, you should take the time to look it up yourself. And if you still agree with it after that, then do something other than forwarding that opinion on. Start a petition, lobby your local or state rep, something. You know, exercise your rights as a citizen. But for the love, let's move on with our lives now. I've got work to do.

Local Cuisine

So I've been super busy, and haven't posted in a while. I'm sorry, as I know how deeply you all have come to depend on me. I just thought it would be good to take a little break, to get some work done, and stop enabling your codependency.



I've been doing a lot of work with our host nation military. You know, coordinating, liaison, stuff like that. Part of that, of course, is spending a lot of time with these people, and eating in their dining facilities. And I've noticed something: their people eat a lot better than ours do.



Take today's lunch, for instance. Lamb, curried chicken, rice, and soup. Served to us with fresh fruit and a cute little can of Pepsi. Also a can of Mirinda Orange. What were the guys on Camp Slappy eating? Probably some kind of overcooked pork or chicken, or the standard strange-tasting cheeseburger, or something like that.



Now, this may have been because we were eating in the Officers and NCOs Mess. I can't say. All I can say is that the food was really good, the service was great, and the Soldiers I took in there with me really enjoyed it. And I'm wondering- with as much money as we pay the companies with whom we contract our support services (food, bathroom maintenance, etc), why is it that our food sucks (There are good meals, by the way, but by and large it's worse than the food at any given college dorm cafeteria)? Why are all the latrines filled with mold and falling apart?



I know it could be worse. I've done my share of "business" by digging a hole in the woods. I have also had to eat MREs three times a day for more days in a row than I care to count. But I'm just saying.

Captain Evil

So the other day I had a Soldier come by and ask if we could make him a crossover cable. All my geeks were busy and I was only surfing the internet staring blankly into space updating slides, so I said I would do it. So I got out the cable, found the RJ-45 ends, got my strippers (WIRE strippers, people. This would be a way better deployment if it were the other kind) and crimpers and started to make the cable. I realized it had been like two years since I had to make a cable, so I googled the order of the wires for a crossover cable, and then I made it. Five minute job, no biggie, right?

So why did my geeks look at me like I had another head growing out of my armpit? Am I that far removed from actual work?

As punishment for their insolence, I had them all placed in burlap bags and beaten with reeds.

Toxic Leadership

As promised, a discussion on toxic leadership. I am getting a lot of this information first- and second-hand (sadly) but have derived some terms and concepts from these people.


So first, we need to define terms here. What exactly do I mean when I say someone is a toxic leader? COL Denise Williams writes, "Toxic leaders can be characterized as leaders who take part in destructive behaviors and show signs of dysfunctional personal characteristics." She further goes on to say that a toxic leader is one who causes serious and enduring damage on their subordinates and organizations. I think this is a pretty good definition, so we'll go with this. Now the questions get a little harder. What makes a toxic leader? Why do we put up with them? And what do we do once we've found one?

Toxic leaders are an interesting breed. Sometimes you can tell right off, like when the officer in charge jumps up and down, smashing furniture while cussing like a pirate in front of everyone in the area about incompetent subordinates. But other times, you don't know until (tragically) much too late that your boss has been busily taking credit for your ideas, and blaming you for his failures. COL George E. Reed, in an article from the July-August 2004 Military Review magazine, says that the three key elements of the toxic leader are an apparent lack of concern for the well-being of subordinates, a personality or interpersonal technique that negatively affects organizational climate (see above re: cussing like a pirate), and a conviction by their subordinates that the leader is motivated primarily by self-interest.

Sometimes, as stated earlier, you can't tell until it's almost too late. But you should start assessing your area, looking at the morale and general feeling among your seniors, peers, and subordinates, and see if any of the three elements above look familiar. PLEASE DON'T confuse Soldiers (employees) tired of hard work with Soldiers tired of abuse. We all get cranky when there's a lot going on and it's nonstop.

So say you find that someone in your chain of command is, in fact, a toxic leader. Why and how did they get to where they are? Well, the first sad fact is that while leaders are born, leadership styles are made. So someone taught your T.L. everything they know. Frightening, eh? Hints toward vicous circles and futility and all that. The second sad fact, and this particularly applies to the military, is that most of the time we are so mission-focused that we don't particularly care how something gets done, as long as it gets done. It's as if Pharoah told us, "Build me some pyramids out there in the desert" and came back later to say, "Wow, those are neat!" without thinking about the millions of man-hours, the whips, the dead slaves, etc. And we're conditioned to "suck it up and drive on." No one wants a whiner, and we often forget as military leaders that there is a difference between whining and a legitimate gripe. So when your T.L. is screaming at you and threatening your career unless you get his mission accomplished, you will just take it and execute. And unless your T.L.'s boss is within earshot, all the big boss will see is that the mission got accomplished, and that T.L. got it done. So old T.L. gets rewarded, and the pyramid gets built on the backs of the slaves.

So what do we do? We all know T.L., I guarantee you can point to one in your organization without too much thought. How do we keep them from succeeding? How do we keep from perpetuating the vicous cycle? And how do we keep from becoming one?

The army uses various command climate assessment tools to measure these kinds of things, with varying degrees of efficacy. But the main thing is that we have to notice what's going on around us. We have to be aware that T.L. is getting up to his old tricks, and we have to make sure that our peers and subordinates are aware of them too. This way, we can mitigate the effects. As leaders, we have to be involved; we can't sit in our office (or ivory tower, or Fortress of Solitude) and ignore what's going on in our organization until it's too late. And the bottom line, after we've noticed the behavior and seen what's going on, is that we have to make a stand. If you're a leader, you must refuse to accept T.L.'s behavior in your organization. If you're a peer, you have to let T.L know. You may even have to go to the boss and let the Man know. And if you're a subordinate, you have to make sure that the Man knows. If you can't or won't go directly, use alternate means. Find a peer of T.L.'s, use your Chaplain, but you have to make sure the boss is aware.

If you think you might be a T.L., well, the first step is admitting you have a problem. There are a lot of books on leadership out there. But if you're in the Army, I will refer you to the seven Army Values and Field Manual 6-22 (Army Leadership). Both of those are good guides. But you have to make a change. Think of the slaves.

Command Climate

This is another installment in a multiple-part series on leadership and command climate. I am still putting together notes for future posts, so be patient.

--Break--

Heard an interesting statement in a discussion with BG Robert Woods. He said that a successful command climate is the difference between a Soldier having to say hello to you and a Soldier wanting to say hello to you.

I thought that was fairly profound. We all know that military customs and courtesies require rendering the greeting of the day. But how many times have you crossed the street or stayed in your office to avoid having to interact with someone you just don't respect as a person (regardless of their rank)? And how many times have you changed course to meet them?

The other question is, how many times have you been avoided or greeted deliberately by a peer or subordinate?

In the interests of full disclosure, I should mention that I am not in command right now, and have never been a company commander. I have been a section sergeant, a squad leader, a shop NCOIC, a platoon leader, Battery XO, and now the battalion S6. I've served in many units, though, and seen a lot of command climates. I fully understand that command climate isn't about being a nice guy, or being everyone's friend, or giving Soldiers time off. I try to live the "mission first" ethic. My Soldiers and I often work long hours- especially deployed, but 14 hour days are not rare in garrison.

I would submit to you that working long hours to get the mission accomplished is not an indication of a poor command climate. Rather, how your Soldiers feel about the work, their dedication and buy-in to the mission, and their knowledge of the importance of their role in it tell that story (this is assuming that you're managing your time and delegating effectively- which is a whole 'nother thang).

What are you doing to motivate your Soldiers? Do they work for you out of a fear of repercussion or out of respect for you? Do they trust that you are tactically and technically proficient, that you know the mission and your unit's role in it? Do they feel that you are actively protecting their interests and placing their needs above your own? Do you praise in public and punish in private? Do you conduct frequent counselings, either formal or informal, to let those around you know where they stand?

Or are you working for that coveted "top block" OER? Are you surrounded by things of which you have a limited or no understanding and taking the nervousness that inspires out on your subordinates? Is your counseling method "louder is better?" Do your subordinates live in fear? Are your peers and subordinates embarrassed of you and embarrassed to be seen or associated with you?

The leaders I've had (at multiple levels- company, battalion, and brigade) that have fostered what I feel are good command climates have asked those questions. They have had the ability to self-assess, and do it frequently. They seek after and value input, whether complimentary or critical.

I believe in Army leadership doctrine. I think it's effective when applied correctly by someone who is living the Army values. And call me naive, but I think the majority of Army leaders are doing just that. But the significant minority who aren't are poisoning units and teaching Soldiers (read: future leaders) destructive habits. So take a minute to reflect, and ask yourself those questions. Hopefully you answer honestly, and you're not surprised at the answers.

That's all for today. We'll get into what you can do to foster good command climates (whether you're in command or not) and how you can fight against a bad one later on.

The blogs have split

I have started a new blog.

Yes, it's true. I have decided that this blog will be about all things military in my life- leadership, the Army, this deployment, etc. My other blog will be about my family, and other random things.

Find it here http://silly-buggers.blogspot.com

I will keep it as updated as I can.

Army Medicine

OK, so I went to the clinic today to get another anthrax booster. No biggie, just another shot. So I go in, fill out the paperwork, take off my uniform jacket, roll up my sleeve, and get stuck. Then, as the tech is pulling the needle out of my arm, she must have apparently had the plunger pressed down, because ANTHRAX SPRAYED ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!!



Including in my eye.



True story.

I'm back

So just came off of my R & R leave (18 wonderful days with wife and family) to this:

Yeah, that's the sun. That's a morning shot, so as you can see, kinda dusty. And I'm a little tired.

But on the upside, I had a great time at home. We went to Disney World, which Gigi loved (so did Jen and I), we got to see great friends, and Gigi got a "Cinnerenna Bed" (translation: Cinderella bed). No more crib.

If you're planning to take a trip, check out www.zonder.com We got a great condo for cheap. The only way to travel.

More updates later (after I get some rest!)

And Happy Birthday, America!

If not you, then who?

It's one of my favorite sayings. "If not you, then who? If not now, then when?"

The quote is by a first-century Jewish scholar named Hillel, and it's equally applicable now as then. I love it, because it sums up how I have tried to look at my life, and it has served me very well. Let's break it down, shall we?

"If not you, then who?" Let's face it, someone has to step up. We're often faced with incompetent peers, unmotivated, unknowledgeable leaders, and subordinates who are a result of that environment (they are incompetent and unmotivated, primarily through lack of training and emphasis). And we also meet the "seagull leaders." You know, the ones who fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, and fly out again with no contribution (other than a pile of crap). Someone has to fill that leadership void. Let that someone be you. Like Patton said, "A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week." A good leader, willing to take charge and make progress now, is better than a great leader further on down the road. And who knows? You might just be that great leader.

I've often found that, even if you're faced with a situation you aren't all that familiar with, someone in your organization knows the process and the techniques, and is just waiting for a leader to get them going. To provide them with the three hallmarks of good leadership: Purpose, Direction, and Motivation.

So step up. Get in there and take charge. Yeah, it's probably more work for you, and if you're like me, then you're a lazy sack. But waiting won't help, and will probably make things worse. Which leads me to my next point....

"If not now, then when?" Problems, like fish, do not smell better with age. Waiting will not make it go away, and will not improve your lot. So if you're going to be that guy (or girl), then you need to be that guy right now or risk having things spiral completely out of control and be unrecoverable.

The cool thing is that this part of the quotation is completely dependent upon the first half. You have to be willing to step up, to assume the difficult role of the leader, and to take responsibility for successes and failures. And you have to do it NOW, on the spot, because waiting for conditions to improve isn't going to help anything. Systems tend towards entropy, whether we're talking about collections of atoms or people. And unless you are willing to impose order on the chaos, right now, you're not a useful leader.

Men's Health magazine did an article on heroes. I don't have time to find the link right now, but you should look it up, because it's really good. And the bottom line for these guys (the heroes) is that they're "ordinary" people in their own minds, who saw a problem and figured something had to be done now, so why not just do it?

OK, so on to practial applications. For me, (duh) it comes down to the Army again. They tell us as privates not to volunteer for anything. To be middle-of-the-road, and to avoid notice. If we do that, we hear, we'll be successful. Hooey, I say. If everyone's middle-of-the-road, then who's in charge? Who do we follow? I have volunteered for a lot of stuff in my Army career (I'm sure Jen can give you a rundown, and then she'll kill me for reminding her), and every time, I come out ahead. Yeah, it means more work. Yeah, it's long hours and not a lot of reward (other than more work). But the mission gets accomplished and the Soldiers get taken care of, and I end up a better Soldier, more knowledgeable, and more able to handle situations in the future. In short, I become a better leader.

It works in non-Army situations, too. Who is going to mow my lawn? Is someone going to come around and do it for me? What about paying my bills? Unless I win the McDonald's Monopoly game, no one is going to hand me money.

What about helping out the lady in the ward who can't switch over her swamp cooler by herself? Or landscaping the yard of the woman whose husband is deployed and needs it done so she can take in some foster kids?

We, the leaders, have to step up. We have to step up now, and get these things done. Because no one else will, and no one can do it as well as we can.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers I know. This is for you all:

But especially for my wife. You're the greatest mother I know, and I love you.

And for my mom. You're the best mom I've ever had.

And for my mother(s) in law. You both rock.

And for everyone else. Because, let's face it. I probably won't call, or email, or anything like that. But you're on my mind.

Happy Mother's Day.

W Out.

My Peeps

So, I got to thinking about my recent posts, and I realized that I haven't paid any attention to the people that are making me so successful. So here it is, a post dedicated to my Soldiers.

Actually, these are only half of my peeps. The other half are in another country, working for me down there. I will give them credits at the end of the post.

So without further ado...

From left to right, PFC Noonan, PFC Sinclair, SSG Etienne, SGT Severson, PFC Chapman.

Sinclair, Severson, Etienne, Noonan.
What a bunch of clowns.

There's one missing, who was on night shift. He's SPC Gonzalez.

I can definitively say, these guys are the hardest working Soldiers in the battalion. Mostly because I'm mean and give them a lot of work to do. But also because they manage the day-to-day functions of my network. These guys can do it all- radios, computers, satellite communications, and still do PT in the morning, go to the gym at night, and clown around the rest of the time.

And here's why I love the Army- I have a huge mix of people. I have Soldiers from the east coast, the South, and Texas. Suburbs, country, and city folk. Folks on their first deployment, and folks on their fourth. And all of them are committed to being successful, to bettering themselves, and to accomplishing the mission. I don't have a single discipline problem, because they take care of each other. My NCOs (Staff Sergeant Etienne, Sergeant Severson) are committed to taking care of the Soldiers, to looking out for each other, and taking care of me.

And my guys down south are no different. I have a Lieutenant, a Sergeant First Class, two Sergeants, and two Soldiers (LT Gonzalez - another one, SFC Morton, SGT Ohlson, SGT Williams, SPC Stevenson, and SPC Hornschuch). They are all making great things happen, and taking care of each other.

And the coolest thing is that these guys don't think of themselves as extraordinary. No, according to them they're just doing their jobs, doing what leaders do. And that's the beauty of the Army. People say it's changing, and they're probably right, but what I see is that leaders who are empowered will take care of their troops, make great things happen for the Soldiers, themselves, and the mission, and when they eventually get out, they're going to be successful.

Those are my peeps, and the reason I'm staying in the Army. Wherever I go, I'm going to meet people like this.

PS -I will post pics of my other guys as soon as I get some. I am an equal opportunity employer

A Letter to Microsoft

Dear Microsoft,


Hi. My name is Waldo, and I'm a frequent user of your products. I know sometimes you get a bad rap, what with your domination of the marketplace and vastly over-hyped and underperforming OS. But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to talk about your Office Suite 2003, and particularly, Powerpoint.

Let me tell you, I know something about Powerpoint. I have spent the last 10 days creating, collating, formatting, animating, and in general, owning slides. I've edited, re-edited, and then changed the edits, causing the whole process to start over again. And I've come to this conclusion:

Powerpoint will eat your soul.

Powerpoint is like some giant black hole of happiness and job satisfaction. I don't know why you would make something like that, unless it's that you need souls to power your MSN stuff because Google is "pwning" you left and right. That seems to be the only explanation, because I can say without a doubt, I have less soul now than I did when I started using Powerpoint. And although I wholeheartedly support our capitalist system, I don't think that having your applications suck up souls to feed Bill Gates' Nosferatu-esque appetite is all that ethical.

Also, since we're here, why would you make another edition, and then force me to get a text converter, and then not allow me to edit effectively? Office 2007 looks flashy and great, but if I'm using 2003, I can't really do anything with the 2007 stuff, now, can I? And why in the name of all that's holy would you comPLETEly change the menus? Why?

Maybe it's a way to make me lose my soul faster. I don't know. But I do know this-- my soul isn't doing you much good. You can't be getting quality souls out of people using your product, because they're all so bitter and angry.

A great thing to do, if you want my opinion, would be to give all the souls back, and instead suck up every slideshow with fancy graphics and animation, and make everything else look like butcher-board or overhead projector slides. You know, black and white, pen or marker, and NO ANIMATION.

That's just me, though.

Yours,

W.