Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Running Man

Let me just tell you how much I hate running. I probably run about 15-20 miles a week in a normal week, and I hate running. I'm not a bad runner. I'm actually pretty average. The problem is, I can think of at least 5 unpleasant things I would rather do than run. As a matter of fact, here's the list:

1. Go to the dentist. I don't floss, so going to the dentist is painful for me. I would still rather go to the dentist than run four miles (the normal run here in C Battery). The dental clinic here has a technician who is at least 100 lbs overweight and has man-hands, so you feel like someone's trying to cram sausages in your mouth and then poke you with sharp metal things, and you know what? I would STILL rather go to the dentist than run.

2. Clean the garage.

3. Sit through a three-hour meeting. I have a superior officer who is my Battalion Executive Officer. I'll call him Chuck. He will happily talk for three hours about NOTHING, and then expect us to know everything that's going on in the Battalion (that's a lot of people and events). He also loves Power Point. By contrast, it takes me about a half hour to run 4 miles. The meeting is better.

4. Speaking of Power Point, I would rather make up a 45-minute Power Point presentation about ANYTHING than run. I would rather do a presentation about running than actually run.

5. I would rather eat crappy Mexican food and get the runs than actually run. At least with the runs, I'd get some reading done.

Yeah, I'm lame. Here's how lame. I was feeling motivated the other night and so I got on the treadmill, thinking that I would run while watching one of my favorite shows, The Closer. I set it to a 9-minute mile pace (very slow) thinking that I would run 4 miles and the show would be just about over. I did two miles easily, and could have run more with no problems, but I was so bored that I just quit. Not because I was tired or hurt or anything, but because I was bored. Lame.

How do you feel about running?

Monday, August 29, 2005

Yeah, I've got a blog too.

Yeah, I've got a blog too.

My wife has one, my friends have one, and now I have one. Give it up for peer pressure. My first posting is just a desperate plea for people to read. I promise to do my best to make it interesting or funny, but at the end of the day, I just want people to read it and post stuff.

OK, so a little about me. My name is Waldo. Yeah, insert stupid joke here. I guarantee you that I have heard every single "where's Waldo" joke, and even most of the Van Halen "Hot for Teacher" references. I am married, and have been for eight and a half years. My wife's name is Jen, and she has a blog called "elpasorepresentyo". I am an Army officer stationed at Fort Bliss, Texas, in the scenic city of Occupied Northern Juarez, otherwise known as El Paso, TX. I work in the Air Defense field, so don't bother lobbing a tactical ballistic missile at me, or I'll have to shoot it down. Jen and I have a little daughter named Georgia Grace (GiGi) who is by far the prettiest baby in history. I'm sorry, I'm sure that you all love your kids, but empirically speaking, GiGi blows them all out of the water. Link to our website at

Anyway, Jen and I moved out here from Utah. At this point, I want to send a little shout out to Jen. She is the coolest, most supportive, most wonderful person ever. Also, she's a great cook and a little hottie. She quit a job and left a house where she had friends and some awesome neighbors in order to come down here to the desert and swelter along with me. Then, once we adopted, she decided she didn't want to work in order to raise GiGi. She rules.

Continuing on, I expect to be here in El Paso for the next couple of years at least. It's a fun time.

Ok. Now you all post something. If it's original, I'll take a where's waldo joke. If it's not original, expect to get mocked. Try not to be profane, because who knows who's going to read this.

Ready... GO.