Happy First Day Back.

I've finished command! Yay! And also, Boo!

After a long and tumultuous process, I was able to change command. I am no longer the commander of HHB, 2-43 ADA Battalion. It's bittersweet. On the one hand, I am SO GLAD that I don't have to worry about approximately 180 Soldiers every single weekend.  I don't get phone calls in the middle of the night about them, and I don't have $32 million worth of property to worry about (that's another story...)

On the other hand, though, I don't have any of those Soldiers any more.  And let me be clear- I love being in command.  Not just for the prestige (which consisted mostly of having my own parking spot and being saluted all the time) and responsibility, although those were nice.  The reason I love command is because I love Soldiers, and the most satisfaction I get in my job is when I am helping Soldiers.  Training, dealing with problems, presenting awards, all that stuff.  It's phenomenal. And I am not there any more, not in front of a formation full of people united in common purpose and preparing to execute our mission.  It's kind of a letdown.

In other news, I'm back in command! Yay! And Boo!

Yep, I was selected for a second command.  I am now the commander of my battalion's Rear Detachment.  For those of you who are snickering right now, believe me, I've heard (and made) all the jokes.

Here's what this  means.  My battalion is deploying in the near future.  In any deploying unit, there are several (sometimes many) Soldiers who for one reason or another cannot deploy.  Either they are leaving the Army, or are medically unfit for duty, or are scheduled to move to another installation before or during the deployment.  All of those people need a place to go and someone to tell them what to do, and that is me.  This also means that I am not deploying, but will be responsible to represent the battalion to all post agencies, and I am also responsible to take care of the needs of all of the family members that are left behind.

On the one hand, it's a really really really difficult assignment.  I have to find something meaningful to do for all the Soldiers in my command, and once the battalion leaves, I have to ensure that all the families are being taken care of- financially, logistically, everything.  So if a deployed Soldier isn't paying his rent, his wife will call me and ask me to fix it.  Or if a Soldier goes on leave from the deployment and forgets his ID card and can't get on the plane, I will have to fix it.  It makes me tired just thinking about it.

On the other hand, I have Soldiers again!  And literally the only thing I have to do is help resolve their issues.  It's great.  Except for when it's not.  Which leads me to this:  On my first day back from my 19 days of leave (a glorious 19 days, which is incidentally the most time off I've had in over a year), there was a shooting at Fort Bliss.  And two of my new Soldiers were eyewitnesses.  And one of those two was the very first person to administer first aid, and he saved a life.  I'm really proud of him- but he's taking it really hard.  We're doing all the right things for him, getting him into counseling and whatnot, and he's doing better, but it's tearing him up.  You expect to see stuff like this in a combat area, and can prepare yourself for it.  You don't expect it when you're trying to buy a Gatorade at the Shoppette.

So my question to the universe is, WTF?  Is that it?  19 days is all the time off I get before I have to deal with something major?  Come on, cosmos.

It costs to be the boss

So... long hiatus. I make no apologies, and only one excuse:

Command is HARD.

Let me break it down for you all right here.

Up at 4:30
At work no later than 5:30
Daily update at 5:45
Physical Training 6:15-7:30
Hygeine and breakfast 7:30-8:30 (usually in the office)
Start work at 8:30
Working Lunch (in the office) 11:30-12:30
Catch up on email 12:30-1:00
Work 12:30-6:00

Total daily hours at work: 12.5 On a normal (or "short") day.

This doesn't count after-hours events, meetings, and the phone that NEVER STOPS. I love smart phone technology, but it's hard to be chained to the crackberry 24-7. And I have to have it on- if I turn it off, I get in trouble. Because here's the other thing...

Everything - and I do mean EVERYTHING - that happens or fails to happen is my fault.

Yeah, that deserves its own line. Here's what I mean. For the sake of argument, let's say I have 175 Soldiers under my command. These are all grown people, 18+, who are legal voters and oh, by the way, have volunteered to serve and possibly die for their country. So let's say that one of these "adults" goes out at 2:00 am and gets drunk, then gets in a car and drives somewhere, and gets arrested. This is my fault.

Let's make it more interesting. Say this guy goes out at 2:00 am and doesn't get drunk, but in fact volunteers to be the designated driver. Say one of his pals leaves an empty can of beer in the car, and the Soldier gets stopped at the gate, and the MPs find an empty in the designated driver's car. The Soldier gets a ticket. This too is my fault.

Say a Soldier gets too fat to be in the Army, and has to be discharged from service. This too is my fault.

To be fair, when the Soldiers do great things (and more often than not, they do) I get credit for that too. But no one remembers those. They only remember the guy who was snorting cocaine off of the body of a stripper while he was in the club, underage, and got arrested (this happened in one of my buddies' units).

But all these things are my fault. And I will get asked questions.
"CPT Galan, why did you allow your Soldier to drive drunk?"
"What did you do to ensure they wouldn't drive drunk?"
"Did you tell them not to drive drunk?"
"Why did you allow this Soldier to get fat?"
"CPT Galan, what's your plan to ensure that designated drivers are trained in the 'open container' statutes in the state of Texas?"

These are incidental things to the actual, legitimate operational requirements that I have. We conduct maintenance on all 132 pieces of rolling stock (wheeled vehicles) that I have, weekly. I have a minimum of four meetings per week that I must attend. Plus the myriad last-minute "hey you" missions that come down. I know, whine whine whine. But sometimes (and only sometimes) I feel like the weight of all this responsibility is crushing me. But because I love the Army, because I love Soldiers and being a Soldier, and because I feel deeply that all Soldiers are entitled to leadership that gives a crap, I carry on.

But then something like this happens:

I had a Soldier who worked for me while I was on staff, for about two years. He was a good Soldier and a smart kid; he really worked hard and learned quickly. When I took command, I stopped being his immediate boss and became his commander- which means, ironically, that I saw him less but was responsible for more of his life.

Well, this Soldier got into some personal drama when we came back from Kuwait. He started hanging out with the wrong guys, and finally got caught with THC in his system during a urinalysis (that's weed, for those of you who don't know). He forced my hand- I had to punish him. I took his rank, took his money, confined him to the base and gave him 45 days of additional duty (after the work day- basically, from 6:00 pm to 11:00 pm). I also gave him the option: he could take his lumps and try to learn from this, continue on in the Army and recover (which is completely possible given the right attitude and motivation) or he could get out of the Army. He chose the latter, despite my repeated attempts to keep him in. I understand redemption, and I understand making stupid mistakes, and I thought he was worth the effort. But this Soldier chose to leave military service, and so I sped him on his way.

Fast forward to this past weekend. I received a phone call saying that this guy was in the hospital, having almost bled out from self-inflicted slashes to his wrists. He tried to kill himself because he couldn't find a job, couldn't afford his bills, and had no place else to go. I also found out that all this guy used to do in his spare time was watch military programs and reminisce about the Army. Oh, and his mother blamed the unit- my unit, me- for ruining this guy's life, and driving him to attempt suicide.

The good news is, this guy is still alive. The doctors were able to save him, and he's got family around. Here's the problem, though. I feel like his mom is right. I know objectively that he made his own decisions. He chose to do drugs, he chose to leave the Army, and he chose to cut his wrists. But this was one of my Soldiers, for more than two years. I trained him, I taught him, I served him. And I discharged him from the Army. This too is my fault.

This is what comes of all that crushing responsibility. The thought that I am somehow to blame for this guy's terrible life choices, because he was my Soldier for a while. And while no one is blaming me for this, I still think about it. I struggle under the weight of all of the poor decisions of my subordinates, because I have been trained to feel that I am responsible for them.

Ultimately, I think this is what makes our military great, and what defines leadership in the military services. The thought that as a Soldier, I have someone who is invested in each one of my decisions, on duty or off, is really encouraging. It doesn't matter if they care because someone told them it's their job to care, or if they care because that's the kind of person they are- the bottom line is, I'm supported. Someone has my back, just like I've got the back of every one of those 175 knuckleheads I'm nominally in charge of. I'll happily provide marriage counseling, financial counseling, get drunken phone calls in the wee hours, work early, late, weekends, and everything in between so these Soldiers know that I've got their back, because I love what I do.

But sometimes it's pretty freaking hard.

I'm Bringing Sexy Back

You heard me.

The tall one is me, and the one who looks like a Panamanian General is my First Sergeant, 1SG Neumann. He is my right hand man, and keeps me out of trouble.

Me (the tall one again. Sometimes I think I work in Munchkinland). From left to right, not counting me, CPT Jeff Jaramillo (will be taking command in two weeks), MAJ Bill Dowling (the Battalion Executive Officer), CSM Evaristo Torres (the BN CSM) and 1LT Ginette Bocanegra (my XO.)

In case you're wondering, the little short coats that Dowling and Torres are wearing are called the Mess Dress uniform. They cost A TON and I'm not getting one until I'm a major.

(This was at the Association of the United States Army Bradley Leadership Awards Banquet. Or the Army Prom.)

Papi, what's a general?

That's a general.

Where were you?

Wow, just looked at this blog for the first time since, well, May. It's been a ri-freakin'-diculously busy several months, and I've been forced through sheer fatigue into this long hiatus. I think I've got a handle on my life now, so I will start updating again.

Today's entry is three days late- I had originally inteded to publish this on 11 September, but got lazy.

During September 11th, 2001, I was working in the Washington, D.C. area. I was attached to an agency called the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) and was doing a joint (meaning multi-service: Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines) mission dealing with a couple of Latin American countries. There were about thirty of us, of which maybe five were Army personnel. We all lived in these really nice furnished apartments in the D.C. suburbs. Mine was two blocks off of the Ballston Metro station. I had already been in D.C. for ten days, and had settled into a routine.

Every morning, I would wake up, get dressed in my Class B uniform (slacks, shirt, name tag, medals, beret), and go downstairs. The van would pick me up, along with the other personnel assigned to the DIA for that day. We'd get to work at about 0700, get a bagel and Diet Coke, and start work no later than 0730.

The 11th was business as usual. I had just settled down to work, had my headphones on and was listening to Weezer. We worked on the 14th floor of an office tower complex called Crystal Towers, in Crystal City, VA (approximately one mile from the Pentagon, and maybe seven miles from D.C. proper). Anyway, there I was, Weezering it up, and all of a sudden, heads start popping up from cubicles. I took out my earphones to find out what was happening, and started hearing radio stations announce that a plane had crashed into one of the Twin Towers.

Since we were all intel nerds, we stopped what we were doing and went to the TV to watch CNN. That's when we saw the second plane hit. We were stunned- no one spoke. Finally, one of the Airmen said what we were all thinking.

"Holy Shit." (sorry, Mom).

We all started making phone calls to our respective headquarters- we knew it was a matter of time until we were recalled back to our units to prepare for war. That's when it happened.

An Air Force colonel came running in to our office. "Everyone evacuate the building- a plane just crashed into the Pentagon!"

Here's why I love the military. At this point, instead of devolving into panic, we all looked at our NCOIC for instruction.

"Get out of the office, walk down the stairs, and get outside."

Which we did. We got outside and saw all traffic at a complete standstill. We also saw, about a mile away, a column of thick, black smoke coming up from the Pentagon.

"The van will be here in an hour. Til then, no one leaves. Report to me if you need to use the bathroom or leave the immediate area for any reason."

We stood there for an hour, watching all the buildings on our block disgorge literally hundreds of military personnel, all in their Class B uniforms. Then we all stood there for another hour, watching each other watch the same unmoving cars.

Those few of us who were able to make cell phone calls contacted our loved ones. My Mom was at my apartment, visiting Jen.

"Mom, turn on the news. I'm ok, just wake up Jen."

"What?"

"Turn on the news, I'm ok, now wake up Jen."

"Oh my goodness, are you ok?"

(Facepalm.)

"Yes, I'm ok, now wake up Jen, please."

Once I finally told Jen I was ok and not to worry, I hung up. That was the last phone call I was able to make for two days.

Back on the street in Crystal City, we finally decided that the van wasn't coming. So we all started to walk home.

We walked past miles of stopped cars, past police and emergency responders, past National Guardsmen. We walked through two suburbs- eight total miles in plastic dress shoes and wool slacks. I know because I kept a 100-meter pace count and counted the kilometers all the way.

As we all walked home, we saw thousands of military servicemembers, all walking to their various suburbs. All I could think about was "holy crap, if they got us now, look at how many casualties they'd get."

By the time we made it back to our apartments, it was dark. We all congregated in one apartment and watched the news. No one wanted to be alone. Later, we all went back to our individual places and went to bed.

That's my story. I was at a 9-11 rememberance cremony on Friday, and someone asked those of us who were personally affected by 9-11 to raise our hands. My First Sergeant looked at me and said "I spent three and a half freaking years of my life in the Middle East. How's that?"

Personally, I hate 9-11 rememberances. I know it was horrible- I was there (kind of). I remember the feeling of helplessness and anger, and the urge to retaliate. I remember the resolve we all had that this would never happen again. I imagine people felt the same way on December 8th, 1942.

But I for one would just like to get on with it. Let's remember that it happened, not with a schmaltzy funeral every year, but with decisive action, with determination, with substantive fixes for the systemic problems that led to the attacks. Remember 9-11, but keep it to yourself.

Big News

Big news, everyone.  I was offered a Battery Command.  For those of you not in the military, I will explain:  The main goal of every Captain in the Army is to be a Company/Battery/Troop commander.  Unfortunately, for officers in my career field, those opportunities are fewer and farther between because of the way the Army has been restructured.  Couple that with the fact that command is a privilege and and honor, and you get a glimpse of why this is big news for me.

As part of my incipient command, I have written a draft of a command philosophy.  There is a lot of stuff I could have put in it, but I was trying to keep it to under a page and a half.  I am going to reprint it here, with the caveat that this is a first draft.

Oh, also, the battery call sign is "Hardcore," so don't be confused by that.

Here goes.

1.      Our mission is to provide outstanding, professional support to the line batteries of 2-43 ADA BN.   While the other units conduct air defense operations, we provide the critical unified command and control necessary to accomplish the battalion’s missions.  Hardcore Soldiers are a team, and our job is to support the battalion’s missions in peace and war.  Our attitude must always be “The answer is ‘yes,’ now what is the question?”  We will take pride in our ability to sustain the combat capability of our fellow Warriors no matter what conditions, no matter what time, no matter what day

 

2.      Hardcore Soldiers are motivated.  Hardcore Soldiers are treated with dignity and respect, and Hardcore leaders constantly demonstrate real concern for Soldiers.  This does not mean pampering Soldiers, but ensuring they are always trained, informed, personal problems are addressed promptly, awards are timely and punishment is exacted swiftly when needed. 

 

3.      Hardcore Soldiers are professionals.  They are disciplined, motivated, and proficient in their MOS.  The nature of the HHB mission requires a high degree of personal responsibility on the part of all Soldiers, particularly in staff sections.  Soldiers and junior leaders must step up and take individual responsibility in their work.  This means that more senior leaders must empower their subordinates and allow them opportunities to excel.

 

4.      Non-Commissioned Officers are the backbone of the Army and of our unit.  Platoon, Staff, and section NCOICs are the center of gravity around which all battery operations revolve.  I will treat you with the respect you deserve- ensure you earn it.  Leaders will set the example at all times.  Good leadership provides purpose, direction, motivation, and will spark esprit in a unit.  I expect leaders to lead their soldiers, care for them by holding them to high standards and preparing them for combat.  Developing young Soldiers and junior leaders for increased responsibility is a priority in all our training.  Depth is provided in our ranks through delegation with supervision, as our primary method of leader development.  I expect all NCOs to know and live by the Creed of the Non-Commissioned Officer, to ensure that they are the standard-bearers of professionalism and to provide the outstanding leadership that all Soldiers deserve.

 

5.      Hardcore Soldiers and their Families are the core of our unit.  The Army frequently demands much of our time and effort, so we as leaders must ensure that we safeguard Family time for our Soldiers.  I believe in a strong, involved FRG and will work to ensure that Families are informed and involved in unit activities.

 

6.      The Army is not a zero-defect organization.  We will all make mistakes- it is how we react to those mistakes that will determine our success as individuals and as a unit.  I will do my best to take care of Soldiers who make honest mistakes.  I do have some zero-tolerance areas, however:  Drug or alcohol-related incidents, domestic violence, adultery, equal opportunity/sexual harassment or violence against another Soldier will be prosecuted with all the resources available to me.

 

7.      HARDCORE! 

I'm home

Long time since I posted, just thought I'd give an update.

First and foremost, I'm home. Long trip, much drama, but the bottom line is, I'm home.

Second, I am (finally) leaving the unit I've been in since 2004. Kinda conflicted... wait, no, not really. It's time to go. Not that the unit hasn't been good to me- I've learned a lot and had some pretty neat opportunities. But it's time to go. (I'm only going up the road right now. It's a conscious choice so I don't have to immediately try to sell my house).

Speaking of leaving... the Army has a tradition called the "Hail and Farewell." It's a party that is designed to welcome (hail) the new officers and senior noncoms and farewell the outgoing ones. Now that you know the concept, let me say this clearly so you'll all understand.

Most.
Awkward.
Party.
Ever.

Imagine, if you will, a unit that has been together for 24 months. Fifteen of those deployed. Throw in a bit of resentment from one half of the unit towards the other, as the battalion was split in two and one half was in a decidedly better place than the other. Add in some disgruntlement over evaluations/awards, etc. Sprinkle on there the fact that, when we came home, we only got ONE DAY OFF before having to come back to work. Throw in a bunch of spouses who are forced to spend one of their first, awkward days with their Soldier partying with people they neither know nor like very well.

Shaping up really well, huh?

Now add copious amounts of alcohol, shake it up, and then give people a microphone and an open forum.

Wow.

In case you're wondering, what you get is basically lots of people hiding how they really feel in efforts to be politic, with one or two throwing truth bombs in there because they have nothing to lose. Also, elements of the command group trying to publicly humiliate people and making mean-spirited jokes. And then you get a bunch of awkward silences, punctuated by frantic guzzling of drinks.

No lie. Kind of horrifying, really.

What's really horrifying is that the powers that be are going to call that party a success, and an example of team-building and esprit-de-corps (that's French for "corpse spit").

Now, as horrible as mandatory social functions can be, they can also be done really well. I have personally been to several really good Hails and Farewells (ones that the wife didn't hate), where the event was well planned, the MCs had personality and charm, everyone was a good sport, and the alcohol just made everyone silly. Also, it's awesome to watch my friends humilitate themselves and then not remember it the next day. I love bringing back those memories, particularly in front of large groups of people.

Oh well. As I see it, that's one more hurdle behind me on my way to my next assignment. Hopefully I will update at least one more time between now and then. Here's what's on the agenda:

Block Leave. Disneyland. Family. Birthday. Road Trip(s).

Good times, good times.

A New Feature

This marks what will be the beginning of a new, randomly updated feature on this blog:

Staff Officer Stick Figure Theatre!! (you have to imagine the echo sound effect).

I know that not all staff experiences are like this, but I've received enough feedback already to know that this little comic has struck a nerve among some people.

Without further ado:

(I'm not saying that I did this during a meeting or anything... but it took about 20 minutes that would otherwise have been wasted).

I think Army got it right this time...

A couple of days ago, we were all forced to watch a multi-media, choose-your-own-adventure production made by the Army called "Beyond the Front." It details the (mis)adventures of either a Soldier or his NCO, and you make choices based on how you feel and what you want the person to do. At the end, either they kill themselves, or they don't, and we all learn a valuable lesson. It's a Very Special Afternoon of Training.

This video and associated mandatory training are part of the Army's response to record-high suicide rates. 2008 saw at least 128 Soldiers take their own lives, with more possible as investigations conclude. This is the highest rate of suicide since the Army began keeping records in 1980.

What surprises me is not the Army's predictable response (the pattern is usually Action --> reaction by Dept of the Army (DA) --> Overreaction by subordinate commands --> mandatory training in which we are yelled at for thinking about whatever the "action" was) but rather the fact that the training and video were... good.

Actually good.

And here's the litmus test for that: when, among the jokes and derision, you can hear more than one person say "No, man, I remember this one kid in my unit..."

Yeah, it was corny in the way that only choose-your-own-adventure stories are. But it actually used relevant scenarios with halfway decent performances, contemporary language (by which I mean the actor cursed when in a firefight or when his fiancee left him), and presented decisions that any of us would make under the circumstances. It was good enough that Soldiers participated and only one problem child fell asleep, and the tools that the video presented to deal with stressful/painful situations were appropriate to Soldiers and the culture of the Army. There was no "make a relaxing collage;" rather, they talked about talking to the Chaplain or the chain of command. All in all, not bad.

All of this dovetails with some other thoughts I've been having lately, regarding stress and stress management. Maybe you follow La Yen's blog where she has been talking about her "issues" (and by "issues" I mean "Shaking like Don Knotts"). Well, that's a stressor to me. There are other things- having to move out of comfy billets and into dusty tents, dealing with the sheer exhaustion of having been here more than a year, the stress of having to train someone else to do your job before you leave... All these things serve to make life difficult. And I've been wondering what tools we have available to deal with that. So here are my thoughts.

- Spirituality. This is a non-denominational post here. Whatever your religious persuasion is, whether you're Catholic, Lutheran, Mormon (word!), Baptist, Wiccan, Zoroastrian, Olmec Sun-Worshipper, or part of the Dalek Cult of Skaro, your faith can be a great comfort to you. So one of the tools I recommend, as I have been using it lately, is to do what you can to draw closer to the Higher Power of your choice. It helps.

(A note here about Army Chaplains. I gotta say, I'm not a big fan. I have had some bad experiences with chaplains before - one told me I was going to Hell for being Mormon. No lie. I've had good chaplains too, don't get me wrong. But I always feel like they're overwhelmed and don't have the time to devote to helping ME out. And that whatever time I spend with a chaplain is time that he/she should be spending with Soldiers instead. So see a chaplain if you need to- I won't be in line with you, so you can take my spot).

- Your peers. Everyone needs someone to whine at. Professionally speaking, it's terribly bad form to whine at your Soldiers. After all, they're doing the same things you're doing, because you told them to. So if you whine about your mission, then the Soldiers inevitably start wondering why they're doing what they're doing, and it's a downward spiral from there. But you should have some peers somewhere, who are a little bit removed from your exact circumstance and to whom you can moan and complain and get things off your chest. It's a good catharsis, which I recommend.

- Friends and family with military experience. Face it, there are a lot of things we're asked to do in the military that don't make a lick of sense. When we complain about those things to our civilian support system, we (or at least I) often get a lot of confused looks. So it helps to have someone you can complain to who has at least experienced your angst before, and knows whereof you speak. Now, this can sometimes bite you in the butt, because you have to consider why the ex-military people in your life left the service. You might not get a lot of sympathy from someone who left because of the stupidity inherent in the system (help! I'm being repressed)- they might just tell you to leave or stop complaining. So you have to be careful.

- Supervisors. This is a tricky one. Obviously, it's not politic to complain to your boss about your boss. But you can (carefully) complain about circumstances or poor decisions that affect both of you. It's always hard, though, because you have to temper your complaints. You don't want to be perceived as a whiner, and you don't want to be seen as an incompetent who needs help to solve problems. On the plus side, these guys have a lot of experience (usually) so they may have experienced the problems that you're going through and might be able to help you.

- Trusted subordinates. This is a tricky one too, since as we've already established, it's unprofessional to whine to your Soldiers. But if you and a subordinate work well and often together, you often develop a closeness that provides a certain amount of latitude in the professional relationship. Sometimes you have to be careful with this one, too, because your subordinates have peers who they complain to, and your business might be on the agenda. It's a calculated risk.

These are all things I've tried in attempts to clear my mind or sound things out. I generally use other outlets, like talking to my family or writing (duh), but if I absolutely have to vent, I use one of these. They help me deal with the stresses that I have accumulated over the past 14 months, and keep me from either killing someone or locking myself in my wall locker.

Or you could take my Tio Manny's approach: "My advice to you? Drink heavily."

UPDATE!!!

So after talking to SPC Film School about this, he mentioned that he liked what I was saying, but the whole thing kind of fell apart at the end. Then he started talking about what he wanted, and I was stricken with a couple of other thoughts. So here goes.

As leaders, we are responsible for the morale of our subordinates. Telling someone to "get over it" or "suck it up," although sometimes valid and useful, is not always the answer. We as leaders need to PROVIDE outlets (like those above) for our Soldiers to use. They are the ones who are making the mission happen- they're the ones we owe our successes to, so we owe them an opportunity to vent.

More than that, though, Soldiers want to see involved leadership. They want to be asked "what's wrong" or "are you ok?" They also [gasp] might benefit from knowing that their leaderhsip is having troubles, or is suffering through the same suckfest they are, but haven't quit and are continuing on with the mission. That's inspirational. That's motivating.

Let's face it, sometimes, things just suck, for everyone. It's how we as leaders react to that determines the morale of the unit. And you know what? Helping a subordinate talk over their issues, even if I don't discuss what's bothering me at all, helps me. There is peace in service, and in knowing that you've helped someone out, even for five minutes. So be involved, be sympathetic, be caring, but above all, be there for your troops.

That's all I've got. Thanks.

Checklist Leaders

Look, this is a rant, so be warned.

Also, this is non-attributional. If I work with you, don't think I'm pointing fingers. But if the shoe fits, then choke on it and die, because you're a horrible human.

OK. Checklist Leaders.

Thanks to my buddy Cap'n Sam for that one. It's a great phrase, referring to the guy who once read a book on leadership and made a checklist on "what leaders do" which he will break out once in a while as justification and self-gratification.

Item one: Greet Soldier. Hmm, ok. "Hello, [Soldier]. "
Item two: Ask ref: family. "How is your [Wife/Husband/Father/Mother]?"
Item three: Pick a franchise of a popular sport, and make that "your" team. Pick one per season. Ask Soldier about his/her team. "How about that [local sports franchise]?"

And that, these people think, makes folks a good leader. They've gone down the checklist, met the objectives, and then go home at night, regardless of their crappy decisions or utter selfishness, and can say, "I'm a good leader. Look at this checklist!"

To which I say, bull. BULL. Because yeah, good leaders are interested in their subordinates. But good leaders also make realistic plans, good leaders give credit publicly and blame privately, and good leaders are in it for more than themselves.

--REDACTED IN DEFENSE OF MY CAREER--

I'm not an idiot. I know that commanders ultimately will take credit for their unit's successes. Good commanders, however, subscribe to a philosophy that goes, "When it's bad it's me, when it's good it's us, and when it's really good it's you." And then they will also take blame for their unit's failures, because they realize that they are ultimately responsible for everything that happens or fails to happen in their unit.

But going by the checklist, I'm sure there are a lot of good commanders out there . He commanded a unit, check, where he gave some awards and promotions, check, and talked to Soldiers. Check.

BS. Check.

What happened to "Soldiers First?" What happened to earning loyalty instead of demanding it based on rank?

In an address to the US Corps of Cadets in 1879, MG John Schofield said, "He who feels the respect which is due to others cannot fail to inspire in them regard for himself, while he who feels, and hence manifests, disrespect toward others, especially his inferiors, cannot fail to inspire hatred against himself."

In other words, treat people how you expect to be treated. If you're a princess who demands respect based on position and doesn't earn it based on any kind of ability, don't be surprised when (1) your Soldiers don't respect you, and (2) you foster a command climate wherin your subordinate leaders act the same way as you, don't respect you, and don't have the respect of their own subordinates.

Then you raise selfish leaders, checklist leaders who can take their checklists and fool the Army educational system into thinking they're worthwhile because they can show all the blocks they've checked. It's a vicious circle.

The only way to fight it is, first, don't be a checklist leader. If you're the type of person who can't fathom actually learning something about your subordinates and being sincere, then do me and your Soldiers a favor and GET THE HELL OUT OF THE ARMY. Thank you for your service, but we don't need you.

And if you see that kind of crap going on around you, for heaven's sake, speak up. Force your junior leaders to be engaged-- empower them to make decisions and hold them accountable.

And seriously, if you can't, maybe the military is not for you. Maybe you should go be a budget analyst or a systems engineer or whatever else you want to be, as long as it doesn't involve leading and training Soldiers. GET OUT. Soldiers deserve better than you.

The greatest story ever told

Happy New Year and stuff.

Getting ready to get the hell up out of here in something like three months, and I am extremely happy about the fact.

But not as happy as I am about the following headline:

Little Blue Pills Among The Ways CIA Wins Friends in Afghanistan

(see the story here)

Seems that the CIA is distributing Viagra to aged Afghan tribal chiefs in an attempt to, um... raise support for US efforts in the area.

Seems it's hard to operate when people don't trust you.

I'm done now.

But seriously. Awesome.

Humbug

Santa has run into some trouble.....

So the Army is issuing us a new solution. Enter SANTRON.

We demand gifts.

Humbug.

The weirdest thing so far...

OK, this is possibly the most surreal moment I have had in my 11 years in this man's Army.

I was en route to a meeting today with the Local National Air Force so we could do some planning for a major exercise we are going to do together (which I wish I could tell you about, because it's pretty cool. But you'll have to trust me). And it's me, my boss (a Major) and another American Captain in the car with a Local National First Lieutenant on the way from the Local National base to the Local National Air Force HQ. And my boss asks, "What kind of music do you have on your iPod, Lieutenant?"

And this leads to all four of us, three Americans and a Local National, riding in the Local National's SUV.

Singing Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler."

Loudly.

Badly.

With backup vocals.

?

Happy Veteran's Day

[blush]

This is me, having forgotten all about Veteran's Day. This despite the big signs in the DFAC (dining facility) and the Veteran's Day cake, and my wife wishing me a happy Veteran's Day.

I am pathetic.

Support our Troops.

OK, the election is over. Now I can blog again.

I have been deliberately avoiding this blog (as opposed to my other blog, which I have been avoiding because I'm frankly lazy) because of the pre-election frenzy. And let me tell you how I feel about that:

"F" That.

If you are passionate about an issue because you've researched it and feel that your stance, your educated opinion is right, more power to you. If, however (and I think this is the case with the majority of the fwd emails I receive or nonsense I hear) you are passing on what basically amounts to hot, soupy garbage because someone you know got it from someone they know and it's all about how so and so is a terrorist because of what his parents named him or so and so is racist because he happened to be born white, then do us all a favor and SHUT UP. Because, either way (and this is important, so pay attention),

I.

Don't.

Care.

I am not interested in your nonsense. I will pay attention to well-thought-out arguments that are not sensationalist. I will not, however, listen to or entertain anything that I will find on snopes.com. Or on Fox News.

But that's beside the point, because now we're done. Do you hear me? DONE. Whether you won or lost, Obama is the President-elect. Whether you voted or not (and I did, by the way), it's OVER.

If you supported McCain, you get 48 hours to piss and moan. For 48 hours, I will read your emails or have the conversations with you. After that, I will get back to supporting and defending the Constitution of the United States, and supporting my Commander in Chief.

If you supported Obama, you get 48 hours to celebrate. I will also read your emails and have the conversations with you, too. And after that, I am going to get back to work (see above). And when he gets sworn in, I will continue.

Now that the dust has settled, I really hope that all the people out there on the interwebs who were so excited about forwarding messages for one side or the other will take all that energy and use it for something substantial. If you feel strongly enough about an issue to espouse someone else's poorly researched opinion on it, you should take the time to look it up yourself. And if you still agree with it after that, then do something other than forwarding that opinion on. Start a petition, lobby your local or state rep, something. You know, exercise your rights as a citizen. But for the love, let's move on with our lives now. I've got work to do.

Local Cuisine

So I've been super busy, and haven't posted in a while. I'm sorry, as I know how deeply you all have come to depend on me. I just thought it would be good to take a little break, to get some work done, and stop enabling your codependency.



I've been doing a lot of work with our host nation military. You know, coordinating, liaison, stuff like that. Part of that, of course, is spending a lot of time with these people, and eating in their dining facilities. And I've noticed something: their people eat a lot better than ours do.



Take today's lunch, for instance. Lamb, curried chicken, rice, and soup. Served to us with fresh fruit and a cute little can of Pepsi. Also a can of Mirinda Orange. What were the guys on Camp Slappy eating? Probably some kind of overcooked pork or chicken, or the standard strange-tasting cheeseburger, or something like that.



Now, this may have been because we were eating in the Officers and NCOs Mess. I can't say. All I can say is that the food was really good, the service was great, and the Soldiers I took in there with me really enjoyed it. And I'm wondering- with as much money as we pay the companies with whom we contract our support services (food, bathroom maintenance, etc), why is it that our food sucks (There are good meals, by the way, but by and large it's worse than the food at any given college dorm cafeteria)? Why are all the latrines filled with mold and falling apart?



I know it could be worse. I've done my share of "business" by digging a hole in the woods. I have also had to eat MREs three times a day for more days in a row than I care to count. But I'm just saying.

Captain Evil

So the other day I had a Soldier come by and ask if we could make him a crossover cable. All my geeks were busy and I was only surfing the internet staring blankly into space updating slides, so I said I would do it. So I got out the cable, found the RJ-45 ends, got my strippers (WIRE strippers, people. This would be a way better deployment if it were the other kind) and crimpers and started to make the cable. I realized it had been like two years since I had to make a cable, so I googled the order of the wires for a crossover cable, and then I made it. Five minute job, no biggie, right?

So why did my geeks look at me like I had another head growing out of my armpit? Am I that far removed from actual work?

As punishment for their insolence, I had them all placed in burlap bags and beaten with reeds.

Toxic Leadership

As promised, a discussion on toxic leadership. I am getting a lot of this information first- and second-hand (sadly) but have derived some terms and concepts from these people.


So first, we need to define terms here. What exactly do I mean when I say someone is a toxic leader? COL Denise Williams writes, "Toxic leaders can be characterized as leaders who take part in destructive behaviors and show signs of dysfunctional personal characteristics." She further goes on to say that a toxic leader is one who causes serious and enduring damage on their subordinates and organizations. I think this is a pretty good definition, so we'll go with this. Now the questions get a little harder. What makes a toxic leader? Why do we put up with them? And what do we do once we've found one?

Toxic leaders are an interesting breed. Sometimes you can tell right off, like when the officer in charge jumps up and down, smashing furniture while cussing like a pirate in front of everyone in the area about incompetent subordinates. But other times, you don't know until (tragically) much too late that your boss has been busily taking credit for your ideas, and blaming you for his failures. COL George E. Reed, in an article from the July-August 2004 Military Review magazine, says that the three key elements of the toxic leader are an apparent lack of concern for the well-being of subordinates, a personality or interpersonal technique that negatively affects organizational climate (see above re: cussing like a pirate), and a conviction by their subordinates that the leader is motivated primarily by self-interest.

Sometimes, as stated earlier, you can't tell until it's almost too late. But you should start assessing your area, looking at the morale and general feeling among your seniors, peers, and subordinates, and see if any of the three elements above look familiar. PLEASE DON'T confuse Soldiers (employees) tired of hard work with Soldiers tired of abuse. We all get cranky when there's a lot going on and it's nonstop.

So say you find that someone in your chain of command is, in fact, a toxic leader. Why and how did they get to where they are? Well, the first sad fact is that while leaders are born, leadership styles are made. So someone taught your T.L. everything they know. Frightening, eh? Hints toward vicous circles and futility and all that. The second sad fact, and this particularly applies to the military, is that most of the time we are so mission-focused that we don't particularly care how something gets done, as long as it gets done. It's as if Pharoah told us, "Build me some pyramids out there in the desert" and came back later to say, "Wow, those are neat!" without thinking about the millions of man-hours, the whips, the dead slaves, etc. And we're conditioned to "suck it up and drive on." No one wants a whiner, and we often forget as military leaders that there is a difference between whining and a legitimate gripe. So when your T.L. is screaming at you and threatening your career unless you get his mission accomplished, you will just take it and execute. And unless your T.L.'s boss is within earshot, all the big boss will see is that the mission got accomplished, and that T.L. got it done. So old T.L. gets rewarded, and the pyramid gets built on the backs of the slaves.

So what do we do? We all know T.L., I guarantee you can point to one in your organization without too much thought. How do we keep them from succeeding? How do we keep from perpetuating the vicous cycle? And how do we keep from becoming one?

The army uses various command climate assessment tools to measure these kinds of things, with varying degrees of efficacy. But the main thing is that we have to notice what's going on around us. We have to be aware that T.L. is getting up to his old tricks, and we have to make sure that our peers and subordinates are aware of them too. This way, we can mitigate the effects. As leaders, we have to be involved; we can't sit in our office (or ivory tower, or Fortress of Solitude) and ignore what's going on in our organization until it's too late. And the bottom line, after we've noticed the behavior and seen what's going on, is that we have to make a stand. If you're a leader, you must refuse to accept T.L.'s behavior in your organization. If you're a peer, you have to let T.L know. You may even have to go to the boss and let the Man know. And if you're a subordinate, you have to make sure that the Man knows. If you can't or won't go directly, use alternate means. Find a peer of T.L.'s, use your Chaplain, but you have to make sure the boss is aware.

If you think you might be a T.L., well, the first step is admitting you have a problem. There are a lot of books on leadership out there. But if you're in the Army, I will refer you to the seven Army Values and Field Manual 6-22 (Army Leadership). Both of those are good guides. But you have to make a change. Think of the slaves.

Command Climate

This is another installment in a multiple-part series on leadership and command climate. I am still putting together notes for future posts, so be patient.

--Break--

Heard an interesting statement in a discussion with BG Robert Woods. He said that a successful command climate is the difference between a Soldier having to say hello to you and a Soldier wanting to say hello to you.

I thought that was fairly profound. We all know that military customs and courtesies require rendering the greeting of the day. But how many times have you crossed the street or stayed in your office to avoid having to interact with someone you just don't respect as a person (regardless of their rank)? And how many times have you changed course to meet them?

The other question is, how many times have you been avoided or greeted deliberately by a peer or subordinate?

In the interests of full disclosure, I should mention that I am not in command right now, and have never been a company commander. I have been a section sergeant, a squad leader, a shop NCOIC, a platoon leader, Battery XO, and now the battalion S6. I've served in many units, though, and seen a lot of command climates. I fully understand that command climate isn't about being a nice guy, or being everyone's friend, or giving Soldiers time off. I try to live the "mission first" ethic. My Soldiers and I often work long hours- especially deployed, but 14 hour days are not rare in garrison.

I would submit to you that working long hours to get the mission accomplished is not an indication of a poor command climate. Rather, how your Soldiers feel about the work, their dedication and buy-in to the mission, and their knowledge of the importance of their role in it tell that story (this is assuming that you're managing your time and delegating effectively- which is a whole 'nother thang).

What are you doing to motivate your Soldiers? Do they work for you out of a fear of repercussion or out of respect for you? Do they trust that you are tactically and technically proficient, that you know the mission and your unit's role in it? Do they feel that you are actively protecting their interests and placing their needs above your own? Do you praise in public and punish in private? Do you conduct frequent counselings, either formal or informal, to let those around you know where they stand?

Or are you working for that coveted "top block" OER? Are you surrounded by things of which you have a limited or no understanding and taking the nervousness that inspires out on your subordinates? Is your counseling method "louder is better?" Do your subordinates live in fear? Are your peers and subordinates embarrassed of you and embarrassed to be seen or associated with you?

The leaders I've had (at multiple levels- company, battalion, and brigade) that have fostered what I feel are good command climates have asked those questions. They have had the ability to self-assess, and do it frequently. They seek after and value input, whether complimentary or critical.

I believe in Army leadership doctrine. I think it's effective when applied correctly by someone who is living the Army values. And call me naive, but I think the majority of Army leaders are doing just that. But the significant minority who aren't are poisoning units and teaching Soldiers (read: future leaders) destructive habits. So take a minute to reflect, and ask yourself those questions. Hopefully you answer honestly, and you're not surprised at the answers.

That's all for today. We'll get into what you can do to foster good command climates (whether you're in command or not) and how you can fight against a bad one later on.

The blogs have split

I have started a new blog.

Yes, it's true. I have decided that this blog will be about all things military in my life- leadership, the Army, this deployment, etc. My other blog will be about my family, and other random things.

Find it here http://silly-buggers.blogspot.com

I will keep it as updated as I can.