Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I am useless

I'm a wreck.

Jen went out of town today. This means that I am on my own, left to fend for myself in the bewildering world of cooking and paying bills, doing my own laundry, getting a decent night's sleep, and basically taking care of my personal hygeine.

Not to say that I am some kind of chauvinist. I realize that Jen (who does these things because she is a wonderful person) is not bound by some kind of traditional gender role into doing all of these things. I am just saying that, left on my own, I am a complete mess.

Just a little illustration here- last night (night one) I had a soccer game. It went til 9:30 pm, after which I went home. A normal, functional adult would go home, drink some water, take a shower, and go to bed in order to get up at 5:30 am and go to work. Notice I stipulated a normal, functional adult. What did I do? I naturally stayed up until about 12:45 watching CSI reruns and wallowing in my filth. Then I took a shower (give me some credit) and went to bed. I couldn't sleep, though, so I read until about 1:45 am when I finally crashed. This is not good. Today I am a complete mess and have had to resort to Monster Energy Drinks to keep myself awake and functioning at minimum capacity.

The ONLY good thing about this is that if I have to work late, I don't feel like I'm missing out on family time. But that is small consolation for being a social retard when I'm on my own.

And the thing about it is, I don't know how this happened to me. I am a guy who has gone to live on his own before, deployed to various corners of the world, runs a staff section and is responsible for all of the automations and communications needs of a battalion of 650 personnel. I am not without skills. I just completely fall apart without my wife.

Pathetic, huh?


La Yen said...

Dear Cold Steel:
Thanks for making me feel valuable. I will put you to work as soon as I get home...
Your Household 6

AzĂșcar said...

Although J was a cook for a few years he has, apparently, lost all his former skills to some sort of wife-based amnesia.

LuckyRedHen said...

Not pathetic, sweet. Sticky sweet from my head to my feet yeeeeaaahhh.

Ku'ulei Ali'i said...

Just read your blog for the first time. Go ahead and say what you're thinking: yes, I am one of your oldest and most oblivious friends from Provo and the UVSC ;)

I loved this blog. Waldo, please find me a similarly socially stunted man to love and care for ASAP - haha, as if I couldn't do that for myself.

It's good to know that you could do so much for your country and still not know how to construct a mean complete with the 5 basic food groups. It gives me hope that perhaps all men are not the complete idiots they portray themselves to be at times, maybe they are just really adorably pathetic and need a good wife :)

Congratulations Jen, you are clearly an awesome wife. I love you both!

Ku'ulei Ali'i said...

and I meant "meal" not "mean"...geesh