Friday, March 07, 2008

Why I hate computers

OK, so as many of you know, I work with communications equipment. And I love my job. Most days.

Here's the real deal: Radios are easy. All radios (used in the military) have the following components: Transmitter, Receiver, Clock, Encryption. That's it. When it doesn't work, you have a problem with one of those things. That's all. Easy. And you can get really crazy and start talking about line-of-sight or omnidirectional antennas, but even that's pretty simple.

NOTE: If you are some kind of electrical/mechanical engineer or something, yes I am oversimplifying. You have a hard job, and the world respects what you do. Blow me.

And generally computers are pretty simple too. There are a finite number of commands with routing and networking, and once you understand those, pretty much the routing world is your binary oyster.

So now we get to why I hate computers... A while ago (like when DARPA invented the Internet) the Army decided it would start using computers. They determined that we need a standard software/hardware package, and so every computer in the Army basically has the same things on it. And most of the people that develop the command and control systems base them on Windows, because that's what the world uses. If you're a Mac user or some kind of penguin-loving douche, I hate it for you. So....


I spent two hours looking up routing commands and reading technical specs on the Solaris operating system (Damn you, Sun Microsystems. Damn you to hell), only to find that, in an attempt to retain some kind of superiority to the REST OF THE WORLD, they made all their networking and routing commands different. So I can't do the things that I need to, because some nerd who hasn't left his home office in eight years and has a three-inch crust of Cheeto dust on him wants to be one of five people in the world who can do what I'm trying to do.

Here's another reason I hate computers: They hate me. My boss is angry. It's not an emotion with him, it's a personality trait. And one of the things that makes him angriest is when he pushes a button and something doesn't do what he expects it to do. And wouldn't you know it, EVERY DAY something happens where he can't print or can't send an email or something. This is verifiable- I have my Soldiers keep a log of all the work they do.

His is the only computer that happens to. The ONLY ONE.

I hate computers.


La Yen said...

These are the words I understood:

That's it. Math is hard.

I love you.

dastew said...

Wow Solaris? I've only read about it. Just remember ipconfig=ifconfig in Linux nomenclature. Beyond that you'll never use a cmd line in Linux....oh wait that's all you'll use. Sorry can't help you.

Wife of dastew said...

I think you should go cool down over a steak, even if it is over done.

Waldo said...

Jen- Those were the key words

Stew- you are a huge nerd. but so am i, so i love you anyway.

wife of stew- overdone steak make waldo mad

dastew said...

The only way to eat meat is rare. If you have to kill it yourself so much the better. I love your label by the way and just remember "There are only 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."